


Lets Talk About Us

by chibipinkpetals



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibipinkpetals/pseuds/chibipinkpetals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino's always known about the rumors, he just never thought they mattered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lets Talk About Us

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel (Nino's side) of [Something to Talk About](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1047412)

Love was something that I never paid much attention to, specially in the situations I was placed in, even if I had been in so called 'relationships'. At first, I was not sure of what I had heard and often thought that I was just being paranoid. No one really cared about me, I was just another college student like the other thousand and I was nothing special. However, as time went by, I began to hear my name more and more, rumors about things that I was so sure I never mentioned to anyone. It was things like my 'special places', my 'weak spots', things that led to how I wanted to be 'taken', 'touched' and other things I ignored.

 

At first, I decided to ignore them. They were just words, rumors about me from people that had nothing better to do than to bad mouth others. I ignored them and thought that those rumors would disappear. I was not so lucky and soon, I had grown accustomed to the side glances, the disgusted look, or the disdainful expressions. In fact, some one my 'friends' ended up ignoring me. My classmates soon develop a distance that in truth hurt, but I was not one to beg anyone to talk to me.

 

Instead, I kept to myself, worked by myself – even when the professor would assign us something with a partner, I would only end up with one that would ignore me a hundred percent of the time and work on their own. There have been men that tried to insinuate something about sleeping with me. I ignored it, actually, my 'boyfriend' began to act more distant, acted annoyed and eventually broke up with me; something about me sleeping around.

 

Whatever, I thought, I was free to do whatever I wanted, and I was not about to hold on to someone that didn't want to be together with me anymore. So I changed my routine, I didn't eat lunch in the cafeteria, instead, I headed to the convenience store and bought my lunch there. I wanted to be as far away as possible from those people.

 

A year went by like that and soon, I just decided to go out and party like usual. I would hook up with someone and rare at times, I would sleep with them.

 

Aiba did always tell me to be careful, he was always giving me a lecture, a frown and a sigh.

 

“ _Nino, aren't you tired?”_ he would ask and I pretended to not know what he was talking about. Instead of lecturing me the entire night, he would accompany me, with a saying about him not having gone out for a while now.

 

I know Aiba, it was his way of keeping me company and taking care of me. I am grateful to him, even when he gets on my nerves at times, Aiba is the only friend I have – the actual friend that cares about me, the real me.

 

At times, when Aiba helps me home, he would doze off on my couch and wake up the next morning all panicky about where he was – he did always exaggerated at times.

 

During those moments, when he would sleep over, I would wake up in the middle of the night and cover him. I can't help the smile that I get when he is dozing off. Ever since we've been small, he always tried to watch over me. I've never had any older brothers, so having him watching over me, even when he can be a pain, I am grateful to him.

 

-

 

Sakurai is a nice guy. He's smart, expressive, and good looking. There isn't one person that doesn't know who Sakurai Sho is, and I am not an exception. We never really talked, in fact, I don't even think that he has any idea as to who I am. He always sits at the front most of the classroom, and I find the idea amusing even, and I am not even sure as to why.

 

I hear snickering behind me along with muttering about me. I roll my eyes at their interaction and wonder why there were still people that acted so childish. The rumors about me have not disappeared, though they are more whispered under their breath. I hear the thumping of something and ignore it. I hated giving them my attention unnecessarily, but they bump their feet to the back of the seat and I grit my teeth in irritation.

 

It's not until I am packing my stuff that I realize why they were making the noises for. Everyone is making their way out of the classroom as I make my way back to class – I had forgotten my book for Aiba's class. When I noticed my book all messed up I can only sigh and clench my jaw. This has not only happened this today, I've had it happened to me a couple of times, and I have ignored it.

 

It was just that, biology books and everything from biology was expensive – I only had a part time job and that alone is not enough for my school expenses. My parents can't help me because they themselves have expenses, besides I didn't want to burden them with my own. After all, they had offered to pay my school if only I pursued an actual career. I didn't want to, I wanted to study Graphic Design. So, I ended up having to pay for my tuition each semester. It's hard, but I try my best to push myself forward. That is the main reason why I ignore everything said about me, everything mentioned about me. Nothing mattered anyway. In the end, I will receive my masters and I will leave this place. In the end, I won't have to be around them far longer than I had to.

 

I hear soft breathing and look up, I am actually surprised to see Sakurai staring down at me, brows knitted together. I suddenly feel a surge of anger, but I reign it in. I hate it when people want to pity me.

 

I am still rather surprised throughout the whole day; without asking much about me, when I thought that Sakurai didn't even know that I existed, he was there, offering to and me over an old Biology book. I have to admit that I was cautious about everything, since when did Sakurai cared about me, I wondered. Why now?

 

Then it begins, I start to see him almost everywhere – at the campus library, at the bookstore, at the garden of the campus and sometimes at the convenience store I usually buy my lunch at. Then I see him walking hurriedly down the path towards the building where our Statistics class is to be held. I call him out, but he doesn't seem to hear me, I look at my book for just another moment, before shoving it into my book bag and racing after him.

 

-

 

In all honesty, I didn't know why I suddenly had the urge to be around him. Sakurai had pretty much ignored me after he gave me the Biology book until that day. Until I chased him down the path to the building, and invited him out, of course, I could see his confused expression, then I heard some of the people walking by talking about me. It wasn't that they hurt me with words, but it was Sakurai's expression that got me to take back my words. He seemed annoyed, and I wondered then, if he was annoyed at the fact that I was talking to him.

 

I wasn't expecting for him to invite me instead.

 

Soon after that, I would meet up with him, and he would talk about his classes, nothing much about his family, nor his actual personal life – why would he, I would think, in reality, I don't even think that we can be considered as friends. Then I wonder, why did we spend time together. I would still bump into some other classmates, I could see their curious and judging looks, not at Sho, but towards me – Sakurai is a nice guy.

 

-

 

I am unsure as to what to do when Sakurai invites me over to his place. My first thought was that he wanted to sleep with me – from what I know, Sakurai has already heard things about me, he never brought it up, but I also never tried to talk about it, so in the end, I rejected the offer. Still, he would treat me at times. On days when I spent with Aiba, I would hear giggles and innuendos about Sakurai wanting me. Aiba did always have a big imagination, high hopes – perhaps that was the reason he could believe in things like love.

 

In the end, I gave in. I liked Sakurai and if I wasn't wrong – if I was not receiving the wrong signals, then Sakurai wanted something with me as well. It hurt a little, to finally acknowledge that Sakurai might have gotten close to me because he just wanted to see if the rumors were true. I thought that I had finally found a friend.

 

The night I finally step into his apartment, I am ready. I have steeled my heart and wondered just what it was that Sakurai wanted from me. If he just wanted to know of a way to talk about me – I still thought that Sakurai was a nice guy, something about him made me want to believe in him, however, something deep inside of me wanted to hide away and not be hurt; because even though I have resolved myself to not be taken by anyone anymore, I could still hear Aiba asking me - _“Why then, why do you think you want to be around Sakurai so much?”_ – in truth, I didn't know why I wanted to be around Sakurai; though I know that deep down, I had some kind of attraction for Sakurai, and because of that, I didn't want to be hurt.

 

However, that was a little too late, because I messed up. Because I was wrong and I assumed wrong – Sho rejected me. I could see how surprised he was, how confused he seemed when I finally pulled away. His whole being was tense and I could not help the tightening within my chest. I was wrong. I was wrong and now, Sakurai will know that everything he's heard about me is true. He will hide and avoid me, just like everyone else.

 

I never believed in love, not really, until Sakurai smiled so softly, so tenderly down at me that my heart skipped a beat and my breath left me when he brushed his lips to mine. I felt like crying. My heart felt like it would burst for the very first time – this was new, this was something I never experienced with any one of my 'boyfriends'.

 

Sakurai says things that make me hate myself – it's something I have not been able to change – I let things get to me and not say anything. I am not as strong as I try to portray and somehow, Sakurai is able to see right through me – and that, it really scares me, because I have tried so hard to keep it to myself. Sakurai stares at me and I feel so exposed – naked, under his scrutiny gaze; and it makes me afraid.

 

That night, Sho only presses me against the bedroom's wall and holds me tight. He murmurs soft reassuring words into my ear, a gentle and slightly gruff tone – of anger or wanton, I am not so sure yet, but later that same night, Sho and I sit on the love seat, me being snugged by his side, his thighs occupied by me as I laid my head against his chest; listening to the strong heartbeat.

 

I startle awake in the middle of the night and notice that I am laying on top of Sho, slightly snugged against the back of the bigger sofa; when we got there, I am not sure, but Sho is sleeping soundly and his soft deep breathing, I fall back to sleep, but not before I reach over and let my finger touch his brow as is lean forward and press my nose against the crook of his neck.

 

-

 

I am still scared – afraid of Sho one day getting bored, tired, or even annoyed with me. I don't want to lose what I have right now – I don't want to lose him. Even though he reads me like a book, I know that there are things he doesn't say. Before, he would make annoyed faces and even touched my neck, at first, I didn't know why, until he cornered me against the corner of a deserted hallway and bit my neck. It was the first possessive action he showed. In truth, I never expected him to be like that, but in all honesty, I kind of fell more for him.

 

-

 

There are still whispers and murmurs about me – me taking advantage of Sakurai, me toying with Sakurai, me cheating on Sakurai, or me sleeping with Aiba-chan. I am angry – though that is not new, it still bothered me about getting Aiba in trouble, so I stopped hanging out with him too much. I guess, in a way, I was at fault too, and Sho made sure that he was around me whenever he could.

 

I thought it would be suffocating, but with time, I realized that I loved with how Sakurai would become so possessive, so gentle at times, even persistent. They were sides I never expected him to show – because he was always a quiet one.

 

There have been times when I would wonder why Sakurai – Sho – I still get kind of shivery just saying his name alone. Sho gets annoyed when I sometimes call him Sakurai; of course, now I just do it to tease him. His pout is rather cute to look at, that and to lean against.

 

 

\- = -

 

 

Lately, I haven't heard much about myself, nor have I seen them whisper to themselves – not about me as I was so used to. At times I wonder if I did something, but other times, I think it's for the best. Finally, I can be properly focused on my studies.

 

Sho finds me and Aiba talking. I try to get them away from each other. Aiba knows too much and it's rather embarrassing to know that he could – and _would_ – blurt out everything if only Sho asked.

 

Once Aiba leaves, we're just standing there, leaning against the wall. I feel a warm feeling spread through my entire being when Sho reached over and threaded our fingers together. I look at our hands and can't help the flush that creeps up on me.

 

 _I am warning you, I can be very possessive_ , he said and I can't ask for anything more.

 

If it's him, then I wish that he would lock me away. That he will love me and only me, because I have fallen for him and I only want _him_ to take care of me.

 

If I can be a little selfish with him just a little – just like he often tells me in not so many words, if I can just lean against him, touch him, or kiss him; that's enough.

 

 

-

 

 

Sho is very loving.

 

He brushes his fingers through my hair the first night that I sleep over. He grins, that same grin he always gives me when he knows that I am putty in his hands whenever he would lean in and kiss me.

 

Sho's mouth is lovely, full and very talented; he nibbles and sucks on my lips, he swipes his tongue against mine experimentally and steals my breath away. His hands are firm and yet gentle in their hold. His fingers are long and beautiful, they are also very talented and just feel wonderful. His body is warm and soft; it's firm muscle with velvety skin stretched taught to the firmness.

 

It becomes a habit for us to spend time together. At times, he would wait for my final class of the day, before he drags me to eat and sometimes drop me off at work – those same nights that he would pick me up. Those nights, he is merciless and keeps me awake for the most part of the night. He laughs into my ear and I can't help the warmth that gathers at the pit of my belly, yearning, wanting – only him.

 

Sho loves teasing me – it's not the same when we're in public, he's very different to his image outside of the room. At times, he teases me to the point of making me teary eyed; but then, he would kiss my tears away and caress my face, my mouth, and soothes my entire being by wrapping his arms tight around me and whispering sweet meaningful words into my ear.

 

Other times, he would drag me to sit on his lap when he's watching television and lean his head against the crook of my neck. In reality, Sho acted a little spoiled at times – not that I was complaining, but at times, I wondered; how then, was he able to portray such confidence to everyone around him.

 

I love it when he nuzzles my neck and pecks my chin softly, just so that we sit there, his arms wound around me and his breathing caressing my neck. I, on the other hand, nose his hair and straddle him, just sitting down on his lap and running my fingers through his chocolate soft brown hair.

 

During those quiet times, Sho brushes his lips against my ear and whispers an _'I love you'_. As if it's a secret that only the two of us should know. I hum and can only tighten my arms around his torso as I playfully suck on his earlobe. Sho growls into my ear – a warning that he was getting restless.

 

I laugh and cling to him when he suddenly stands up, his arms wound tight around me, and takes us into his room; this time, he lets out a playful growl and shuts the door with his foot.

 

 

\- = -

 

 

It's not even a year later when Sho asks me if I wanted to move in with him once his final semester is over – it made me realized then that Sho was older than me. Not by much, just two years, and I wondered then, what I would be doing if I don't see him at campus.

 

For that reason, Sho tries to explain, is why he wants me to move in with him.

 

I am still unsure of what to do when the year goes by. Throughout time, Sho didn't push me into answering it, however he hinted at the idea every once in a while.

 

By then, I am working on my thesis and my final classes, my research. I also had to find another job for my tuition for the upcoming semesters.

 

 

-

 

 

When it hits June, I find another job at the bookstore close by, the one I would walk by and catch sight of Sho. It's a good schedule to work to and the pay is a little higher. It helps me with my expenses, however, it's not enough, but I can't afford to get another job because school is becoming more hectic.

 

It's not until I can't do it anymore that Sho finds me sitting by the bookstore entrance – lately, he'd been coming to pick me up. I don't mind, but sometimes I worry that he must be tired; he doesn't say anything and instead, he offers to buy me dinner and a coffee so that I can get home and work a little on my thesis.

 

Each time, he would sit with me while I read some books, sometimes, he would bring some paperwork and we would both sit quietly in my living room. Other times, he would sit there and stare at me – I find that sort of embarrassing for some reason, but Sho only laughs and reaches over to remove half of my fringe and place a pin to hold my hair back from my eyes. He would stare some more before he leaned forward and tilt my head so that he can blend out lips together.

 

It's times like that where he makes me relax and think things through.

 

On one particular night, after he washed the mugs we used for tea, he does the same thing, but this time, he drags me to stand up and follow him to my room. That night, he caresses me so softly, eager yet careful, nibbling and kissing me. That night, he makes me moan his name and beg him for more.

 

That night, he smiles down at me before leaning down and kissing my forehead.

 

“I think that it's about time you move in with me,” Sho says. I tilt my head thoughtfully – why was Sho able to keep so calm, I think slightly annoyed. I tighten my legs around him and bring him in, he groans and presses his forehead against mine, his breath tingling against my lips, my cheeks. I can't help the smugness I feel with having him trembling above me.

 

“I think so too,” I moan out when he deliberately angled my hips and pressed in. Enthusiastically, he kisses me and reaches with one hand to tilt my head to his, as the other hand sneaks between us and makes me writhe beneath him.

 

 

\- = -

 

 

 _'Just not yet,'_ I remember saying quietly to him. Thinking now, I know that I wanted to prove to myself that I could be independent. I remember clearly now, Sho hadn't been pleased with my condition, but he only sighed and gave in.

 

“Sometimes I worry about you,” Sho says. I can't stop the grin that stretches over my lips. Instead of trying to force me, Sho smiles hesitantly – he has always been horrible in faking his smiles, before reaching over and cupping my face.

 

“I'll be okay,” I try to reassure him, however, he only lets a small frown slip only to give up and brush his thumb over my cheek.

 

“Come, I'll treat you to lunch,” he says, not even giving me a chance to protest, because he is already dragging me out the door. I stare at our twined fingers and squeeze them.

 

We get into the elevator and as we head down, I lean over to wrap my arms around his waist and press my mouth to his ear.

 

“Thank you,” I whisper, placing a whisper of a kiss on his jaw as I pull away. Sho's flustered and I absolutely enjoy the sight of his cute expression.


End file.
